18 9 / 2014
29 9 / 2013
You know what? I really admire people who can live without labels. I really admire people who can live knowing that they’re non-binary but do not feel the need to define their gender. I really admire people who are sometimes sexually attracted and sometimes not but aren’t exactly demisexual and do not feel the need to clarify more than that. I really admire people who are attracted to more than one gender but that’s just that for them and they don’t need to ask themselves if they’re bisexual, pansexual or anything else. I really admire people who don’t believe in any religion but don’t feel the need to call themselves agnostic or atheist, because they just don’t need a belief to identify as themselves.
I really admire people who can live without labels. Because the truth is, I don’t really think I can. Defining a part of myself that’s been troubling me with a word is relieving. It’s comforting. Knowing that I can identify as this word, that has a definition, gives me meaning too, it reassures me by telling me I’m not wrong, I’m not broken, because who I am is a thing that exists.
What I’m saying is… Some people find labels important. Some people don’t. Some find them reassuring. Some find them confining. It’s okay. I think. Destroying the labels because “we’re all the same” isn’t a good thing. Putting labels on everyone isn’t a good thing either, because we’re all different.
Someone is having a hard time finding who they are, what word best describe them? Tell them it’s okay. Tell them they don’t necessarily have to find a word. Then, help them look. Hold their hand as they look through pages and pages of online dictionary entries. And tell them it’s okay.
If they do find a word, use it. Use it like it’s their name and let them wear it like their favorite shirt. If they don’t find a word, love them. Cherish the syllables of their favorite nickname and make them feel like that, that deserves to be put in a dictionary.
And the only think you need to be careful about, is that labels aren’t supposed to be boxes. They’re more like big old comforters. You can curl up inside them, and it makes you feel safe and relaxed, but once they get itchy or start to suffocate you, you can kick them off of your bed without it hurting anyone.
Words are important. But sometimes they’re also unnecessary. And it’s okay.