29 9 / 2013
You know what? I really admire people who can live without labels. I really admire people who can live knowing that they’re non-binary but do not feel the need to define their gender. I really admire people who are sometimes sexually attracted and sometimes not but aren’t exactly demisexual and do not feel the need to clarify more than that. I really admire people who are attracted to more than one gender but that’s just that for them and they don’t need to ask themselves if they’re bisexual, pansexual or anything else. I really admire people who don’t believe in any religion but don’t feel the need to call themselves agnostic or atheist, because they just don’t need a belief to identify as themselves.
I really admire people who can live without labels. Because the truth is, I don’t really think I can. Defining a part of myself that’s been troubling me with a word is relieving. It’s comforting. Knowing that I can identify as this word, that has a definition, gives me meaning too, it reassures me by telling me I’m not wrong, I’m not broken, because who I am is a thing that exists.
What I’m saying is… Some people find labels important. Some people don’t. Some find them reassuring. Some find them confining. It’s okay. I think. Destroying the labels because “we’re all the same” isn’t a good thing. Putting labels on everyone isn’t a good thing either, because we’re all different.
Someone is having a hard time finding who they are, what word best describe them? Tell them it’s okay. Tell them they don’t necessarily have to find a word. Then, help them look. Hold their hand as they look through pages and pages of online dictionary entries. And tell them it’s okay.
If they do find a word, use it. Use it like it’s their name and let them wear it like their favorite shirt. If they don’t find a word, love them. Cherish the syllables of their favorite nickname and make them feel like that, that deserves to be put in a dictionary.
And the only think you need to be careful about, is that labels aren’t supposed to be boxes. They’re more like big old comforters. You can curl up inside them, and it makes you feel safe and relaxed, but once they get itchy or start to suffocate you, you can kick them off of your bed without it hurting anyone.
Words are important. But sometimes they’re also unnecessary. And it’s okay.
29 8 / 2013
You know why I think feminist commentaries are missing a major point?
Because yesterday, for the first time in my life, I left a movie theatre hearing a little boy say to his dad “I wanna be Mako”.
29 8 / 2013
- Suggestions for things to do with your appearance if you’re DFAB and want to appear more masculine or more androgynous.
- Instructions for altering men’s clothing for wear on persons with an estrogenized fat distribution. (Note: Target audience is cis women, but the tips for clothing alteration can be used by anyone who wants to alter men’s shirts to make them more form-fitting.)
- Same site as Passing Techniques above; suggestions for subtle things to do with your appearance if you’re DMAB and want to appear more feminine or more androgynous.
- Exactly what it says in the link text. For if you have external genitalia that you want to make appear flat when wearing clothing.
- A site that makes handmade custom-sized chest binders and sells them for 10 USD each plus shipping. Ships to any country. (Shipping within the U.S. is $6, and to the UK, Canada or Australia is 7 USD.)
- A pharmacy that compounds injectable testosterone and estradiol, topical testosterone and estrogen creams, and oral testosterone and estrogen. You can order those things from this website once you have a prescription for hormones from a doctor. I do not yet have personal experience with this pharmacy, but I plan to get testosterone cream from this pharmacy when I get my testotsterone prescription, on the recommendation of a person I met at this year’s Trans Health Conference.